Yesterday was probably one of the best days I’ve had. Maybe ever. I mean, aside from a day where I was actually out doing something that is supposed to be fun like Disneyland or a special occasion.
I didn’t do much.. Sean and I went to Home Depot (which usually bores me to the point of insanity, but I needed a new pot to put my flowers in) and Target, got a quick lunch, cleaned for literally about 4 hours, drank some beer, made dinner and watched Walking Dead.
It doesn’t sound like a day that would win for best day of my life, but let me expand on this..
Sean didn’t let me pay for anything at Home Depot or Target, he took me to Portos for a sandwich I had been craving for months now (again, wouldn’t let me pay), on our way home he told me he was talking to his coworker about weddings and how he would be willing to spend x amount on me for our wedding, we cleaned together; no pointing fingers or whining - both of us got our hands dirty and cleaned the shit out of every inch of our apartment, we drank beer together and talked about our future and things we don’t normally discuss, we made pizzas together, watched Walking Dead and then got into bed and rubbed each others back until we fell asleep.
It was just a regular day doing regular things, but doing everything with Sean felt so good and real.
It’s the kind of day that I could have for the rest of my life.
I want to love unencumbered.
Sometimes I long for that deep depression and disappointment. It used to be familiar. A comfortable plague.
But now, it has changed. Things are right. I feel happy. Blessed, even.
I used to fear the rain. The dark clouds would centralize within me; making my heart heavy. But now even what used to frighten me seems gentle; something to be admired.
Credit card scores
Cell phone carriers
Credit card apps
When did we get old?
Also theories on sun rotation around my apartment
when girls orgasm they be grabbin at shit that aint there kickin lamps over throwing pillows their eyes roll back and they recite ancient spells in the language of long lost civilizations
thats why I never satisfy women sexually its scary and I’m not here for it